Today at church we had the counselors in our bishopric replaced. As I listened to the men who were going out and the men who were coming in bearing their testimonies I was sad for myself and found myself hoping that somewhere out there is a single great man like the great men in my ward.
The really heartbreaking part of it is that I married a really great man who later on made some not great choices and decided to become a different man. I deeply miss the great man I married.
2 comments:
I understand you wanting to talk to people about all that has happened in the past year, but is it necessary to do so in such a public format? If you have problems with me, isn’t it easier to address them to me or to friends or family in private? I am worried about the effect that posting all of this will have on the kids when they read it in the future. If they haven’t already read these posts, it’s only a matter of time. And I thought we had agreed to not speak negatively about the other parent to the children.
And in defense of myself, I am not the horrible monster I am made out to be here. It is possible to be a great man and a great father without being a Mormon priesthood holder with a leadership calling. I am with my kids almost half of the time and spend time doing homework with them and taking them to basketball and soccer and scouts and friends houses and going to the emergency room with them. I willingly agree to watch them extra almost every week and put them to bed and read them bedtime stories. I am actively involved in their lives. Because I am a different person now and we are no longer together does not make me a bad person. It just means we are on different paths now. And yet I had hoped it would be possible to continue having both of us involved regularly with the kids without demonizing one another. I have not aired any of my concerns or frustrations with you to the world. For the sake of the kids, I would hope that you would consider doing the same towards me.
Um...... Gee....... I read your blog in my reader Julie and thought about this post and decided to comment before I knew your ex commented too. Now I feel very weird like I shouldn't intrude but maybe what I wanted to say is even more useful for you than I thought at first.
I've read your blog about 3 years now. I like it for your sense of humor and love of music and theater. (I used to sing too) I know I don't know you, but I was surprised when you said you were getting a divorce just because you don't expect Latter-Day Saints to have big changes like that. Until I realized I wasn't too surprised, because of how irrelevant your husband seemed too your blog.
Now he is one of the main things you blog about but before you hardly mentioned him ever. You wrote about your kids all the time but you almost never wrote about him. Sometimes I wonder if the problem is that he is the one who left you not the other way around. I remember when a couple boys broke up with me. My mom told me and I think she is right that being the one who is rejected can be so bad for your self esteem that the person rejecting you seems better than they really are and you seem worse. Eventually I realized she was right and would try to remember all the ways he wasn't good for me and would try to pick better next time a boy came along. Like I said I know I don't know you but still I wonder if that is going on with you because there has got to be some reason why you say now that you married a great man but you never said things like that when you were still married, at least not since I started reading. maybe I would find it if I read all your archives (sorry too lazy/busy) but it's painful to see a smart, talented, beautiful woman like you with such strong faith pining away for a guy who clearly doesn't want her anymore even if he did used to be great.
Staying anonymous so you don't hate me if I've said the wrong thing. Sorry if this comment offends you, if so I apologize and please delete it (maybe delete it anyway, it's only really for you)
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