3 Principles for a Happy Marriage

There's been a lot of articles lately going around Facebook with lists of things that will make a happy marriage or relationship. I've also read a lot of books about relationships and Curtis and I have spent a lot of time discussing what we want our relationship to be like and how we plan to get it and keep it that way. After much reading, thinking and discussing I have decided that you can boil everything down to 3 overriding principles that, if followed, will make a great marriage (or any kind of relationship really.)

1. Strive constantly to express and show love to your spouse and treat them with kindness, courtesy and respect. Under this heading there would be a list of things that, to your spouse, demonstrate your love for them. Talk to them and get some specific things you can do, learn their love language, and then speak it regularly. And don't forget the important key of good old fashioned niceness, courtesy, and respect. Your spouse should receive the best of you, not the worst. You should not treat them, or your relationship, with casualness. 

2. Quickly confess and seek forgiveness for your shortcomings. You won't always be perfect at expressing love. There will be times you're not always kind or respectful. Guaranteed you'll do something you shouldn't have, or you'll neglect to do something that you should have, that will upset your spouse. Regularly take stock of your own behavior, figure out if you've done anything to violate principle #1, and then go apologize. To keep a wall from building up between you, you must regularly remove any bricks.

3. Chose to not be offended and to forgive easily. Just as you will not always be perfect, neither will your spouse. It is up to you to decide whether you will take offense at every failing of your partner's or whether you will practice grace and mercy, remembering you are always in need of both yourself. Believe that your spouse loves you, believe in their good intentions, even though they won't always be able to properly show you love. You need to accept your spouse's efforts to reconnect with you and the attempts they make to correct wrongs. You need to always keep your heart soft and open towards your spouse. The bricks in the wall of separation can't be removed if you have decided to make them permanent by fixing them in place with concrete.