Rules and Exceptions

First off, may I just say that I'm good. I'm blessed. I'm happy. I realize that if you never actually see me in person, and just read this blog, you might be tempted to think that I walk around in dark gloom most of the time. I really don't. But most of the interesting, thoughtful things that I'm learning don't happen when I'm good, they happen when I'm uncomfortable, which causes me to seek and think and all that good stuff.

Secondly, I have discovered that anytime I think that "I've got this", or that I finally understand, or that I really know how things are, I quickly learn that I don't have this, there's so much I don't understand, and my knowledge is greatly limited. I've decided then that the way to get through life is to continue to move forward doing the best you can with what you know and understand, while continuously keeping an open heart and mind to what life and people in your life have to teach you. So take everything you may happen to read on this blog with many grains of salt, because life is a continual work in progress and I'm constantly refining the way I see and understand things.

You know how in Sunday School and Relief Society lessons we talk about what to do when faced with trials. How do we get through it and move passed them? We speak as if trials are the exceptions in our life, that occasionally we are faced with difficult things that take something extra to get through. But here's my latest thought: I think difficulties are actually the rule; easy, happy, peaceful times are the exception.

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. Most do not fully see this truth. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly  about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy." - M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled (I highly recommend this book, though I'm less than 1/2 way through.)

Ouch. I've spent a lot of time moaning to family, friends, on this blog about my difficulties. I think my life should be different. It reminds me of this quote from President Hinckley:

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

Here's another one from Peck, "Move out or grow in any dimension and pain as well as joy will be your reward. A full life will be full of pain. But the only alternative is not to live fully or not to live at all."

But this is a hard pill to swallow. It's hard not to whine and moan about life and not think that it should somehow be different. But I can see that if you can understand, realize and accept that the nature of life and growth is difficulty, that you can then think things are less difficult and whine less.

I've been toying with a thought the last few weeks, "Everything is exactly as it is meant to be at this moment." I've posted this a couple of places in my house. Part of me believes this to be true, part of me has a hard time completely accepting it because there is much I don't like about how things are right now. I was talking with a friend at work and said something about how things work out. He replied that it's true, but they often don't work out how we would like them to. My response was that this was probably a good thing because we have no idea what are we are doing any way. God, however, does. If we can surrender things to him and allow him to guide our life we'll be exactly where we need to be.

And while there may only be occasional stunning vistas and thrilling bursts of speed, our lives are full of many sweet, wonderful moments if we take the time to notice them. I feel them when I look up at the blue sky, when I sit and breath deeply and relax and smile into my breath, when I take a moment to play with my 4 year old, when I listen to birds sing, when I dance to a fun song. Our days are full of moments if we'll just catch them instead of wishing we were at our destination already. Joy is indeed found in the journey.

And now I just read this from President Uchtdorf, (have I told you how much I love this man?)
"We shouldn't wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available--all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. 'This is the day which the Lord hath made,' the Psalmist wrote. 'Rejoice and be glad in it.'"

I think I need to put that scripture up around my house too.