You know either/or mentality, right? Something is either A or it is B. Either it's right or it's wrong. Either it's good or it's bad. Either you're happy or your sad. Turns out it's not a helpful, nor accurate, mentality. More often things are some of both, or maybe something else completely like C or Q.
When driving home from work today I suddenly thought of something that made me sad. As the sadness came and I thought on it, I realized that it didn't take up all of the space inside of me. Yes, I sometimes miss Jonathan and that is a sad thing, but I'm also happy, peaceful, strong and so blessed. All of those things all at the same time. There was no reason for the sadness to overtake me completely. Don't get me wrong, I've certainly had extended moments over the last several months of not recognizing anything but sadness consuming me. But I think it's worth taking note that it doesn't have to be this way. That we can allow for sadness and joy in our lives at the same time. Wrong things in life can turn out right. There are good and bad to all people. The proportions of happy to sad may shift around, but hopefully I can always remember to keep at least a little bit of space for happy, no matter what is going on. Hopefully I can do better at recognizing my either/or mentality and instead allow space in myself for some of both as well as C and Q thrown in for good measure.
And in case you are wondering, right now my proportions of happy to sad are highly tipped in favor of happy. :)
On a related note, now for the idea of "but" vs. "and." I'm working on replacing the word "but" with "and." "But" is contradictory, limiting, closing. "And," on the other hand is open, inviting, encompassing. Think of the difference in these two sentences.
"New York was fun, but it was cold."
"New York was fun and it was cold."
The first one limits the fun that I had by how cold I was. The second one simply allows that both things existed without decreasing one or the other.
Think about it...
2 comments:
Such good insight. I'm glad I glad I read this post. sometimes I wonder about the value of giving my newly discovered philosophies on my blog because everyone seems to know it already so maybe I just sound preachy. reading this post though I realize that I don't know what you know and it gives my life added value to learn a different way to view things from one I trust. maybe I'll just keep on sharing my life lessons too for whoever might benefit from it. and thank you for yours.
Thanks for bringing these up! Changing the way I think is definitely something I can work on.
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